Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous]What I find most disturbing about this thread is the stories of rape that went unreported. Imagine how many more times these perpetrators got away with similar crimes, whether or not those rapes resulted in pregnancy.

It's also horrifying to think of those girls who were forced by their parents to carry pregnancy to term. I wonder how often this still happens today? It really got me thinking about whether or not it could be legally recognized as child abuse, assuming the girl does not want to continue pregnancy.

I have some friends who have adopted recently and those adoptions are open, at least somewhat. The OP describes a closed adoption scenario that is more increasingly rare. Any person has a right to their medical information and family health history. No one has a right to impose a relationship on another person, and this includes adoptees who want to reunite with biological family members.

Overall, any woman who willingly chose to carry a pregnancy to term and made the sacrifice of adoption,  should be entitled to personal privacy if that's what she wants. Part of her sacrifice should be the sharing of basic medical information for the health of the adoptee. Beyond that, it needs to be her choice. However, it seems reasonable that I had an adoptee could contact the birth mother initially to see if there is any interest in getting to know each other.

OP,  your sister should not have contacted her birth mother's family but rather the birth mother herself. If there was no way to contact the birth mother, she should have left the family alone. I realize that is very painful for her, but she should remember that her birth mother already gave her the gift of life, and that may have to be enough.

Adoption has changed so much over the past 20 years that it is difficult to look at prior adoptions under the same lens as adoptions occuring today. [/quote]

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