Reply to Stopping caring saved my marriage

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Stopping caring saved my marriage"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Best thread ever, and clearly the strategy most likely to save my marriage to an emotionally abusive and absent spouse with a hot temper and inability to take responsibility for his actions.

But here's my big question for those who feel good about where they are with this strategy- how do you feel about the impact on your kids?  I'm worried about what I'd be modeling for them and their future potential relationships. 6yo DS already mimics his Dad's hot button, unpredictably yelling.  So how do I show him it's ok by trying to not care about it? Even if I stop caring, I don't want my son to think its okay to treat people that way.[/quote]

Why do you want to save this marriage? Yes, children model what they see. Staying around is modeling that a person should tolerate that kind of behavior, and that it is acceptable, whether they engage with it or not.

Signed,
BTDT (and having to retrain my children about acceptable behavior, hopefully before it is too ingrained)[/quote]

OP here. See, I don't have this issue. My husband and I are very, very cordial to each other. We made that a priority and it made not taking things so personally much, much easier. We have a low conflict household. I don't see how that would be worse for my kids than getting divorced and introducing a level of conflict, economic instability, and mess into their lives.

I don't profess my advice would work for everyone. What I will say is that caring less about my husband's opinion and putting more energy into my own happiness has made me a happier person who enjoys her marriage way more. There is something to be said for perspective and space and detachment.[/quote]

So how do you  enjoy sex with him if you are emotionally detached?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics