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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husbands with SAHMs that prefer they work "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] No SAHM is giving her kids a 10. SAHMs are human, not grown on another planet. Your argument makes no sense because you can't isolate the other factors. Kids aren't raised in a vacuum and I, and actually most, think that two working parents are best. I say that because 80% of SAHMS can't afford to work. The opt-out revolution was shown to be a myth: when given the choice, the majority of high-earning, highly educated couples choose to have both parents work in some capacity and outsource childcare for some amount of time. I think that the ideal situation is to have both parents working reasonable hours and contributing to the running of the household and child-raising. And many others agree. Not everyone does, or not everyone can achieve this as some career paths aren't amendable to reasonable hours. That is okay, but IMO not ideal. I think kids benefit from seeing both parents work, and I think dads step in more when mom works. [/quote] Daycare workers are human too, so whatever flaws a mother have, they'll have them too. They don't grow them on other planets either. So if a mother isn't giving a 10, then a daycare worker isn't giving an 8 either. You cannot convince me that daycare workers care for children better than mothers. They are good, they can be great. But not better than moms. I didn't mean that 10 is perfect. I used that number to illustrate the notion that the mother's care is better than anyone else's. Someone else can still give pretty good care. Of course you can isolate the other factors. I don't think either of us really knows what "most" think. You know what most of your friends think. Of course kids benefit from seeing all kinds of stuff. All kinds of scenarios have all kinds of benefits. Whether this benefit outweighs the parent at home is a matter of preference. [/quote] You've missed my point, but perhaps you are deliberately trying to be obtuse. I wasn't implying that a daycare worker or nanny is a 10, but that when mom is on all the time she can't be at a 10, whereas sometimes when you are taking care of someone who isn't your kid, and it's your job for 9 hours a day, there are benefits to that. Look, parental-child attachment is critical, but kids whose parents work still get that. I was fortunate to have long maternity leaves (which I advocate for more women to have as I think typical policies in this country are a joke) and we are able to maximize time with the kids through WFH policies that cut down on commutes, flex hours, etc. But no, I don't think when they are 8, 12, 16, 20, and so on, anyone will be able to tell they had high quality daycare/nanny as part of their childhood vs. a FT SAHM. I think the research shows that as well. So if it works for a family to have a SAH parent, I'm all for it. And I do agree with the man or woman who was repeatedly posting that those parents should be appreciated for the sacrifices they make. Just as working parents should. But I don't agree that having a SAHP is the ideal, or that kids with SAHPs get a 10 while kids of working parents get an 8. [/quote] Well yes, clearly, if I don't happen to fall on my knees in slackjawed amazement and unadulterated agreement with your piercing wit, I must be deliberately obtuse. One helluva ego you got there. [/quote]
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