Reply to In laws lifestyle 'hobby' vis a vis our children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't need to know the name of the sport but it's hard to tell what the real issue is because you haven't adequately identified what the issues are.  If your ILs have otherwise been including you and your DH in activities and are a welcomed member of the family, I have no problem with them wanting to do something 'special' with the grandkids - and just them.  However, if your ILs have a practice of excluding you or condescending, you have an IL problem and I would [b]never encourage a relationship with someone who is disrespectful to me[/b].  And, in the case of the latter, you just don't have an IL problem, you have a DH problem.

I would also do as a PP suggested and ask:
 
[i] "I'm curious, Bert/Bertha, why you never invited me all this years, yet now you want to invite the children? You know I grew up around polo, don't you?".  [/i]
 [/quote]

OP here, this is really it for me. It has nothing to do with the sport, although for whatever reasons they mind their manners in most scenarios,  with this particular activity they are strangled with conceit. It does not have to do with class differences, many members of their extended family struggle financially and are quite coarse.

[b]For the record, I have asked that question. They have never been able to respond. [/b]It's just weird. [/quote]

That, in itself, is a response. They don't like you, it seems, but have been polite over the years. They love their grandchildren and want to do things with them. [/quote]

Yeah being superficially polite at times and grossly rude at others is a great way to make sure you have as little relationship as possible with grandchildren.[/quote]

My mother and grandmother (dad's mom) never liked each other. They why of it, I don't know, but it was obvious to me even as a kid. But neither of them ever talked ill of the other and my mother never prevented my brother and I from having a relationship with my grandmother. She even said that if something were to happen to her and my dad, she would want my grandmother to take us because of all our relatives, she knew how much she loved and cared for us, and would move heaven and earth to make sure we grew up to be great people and have great lives. Sometimes people don't like the mates and family members of their loved ones. It happens. Adults figure out how to work around that when children are involved. [/quote]

Different situation when there is disrespectful behavior though, especially to the mother in front of her children. They pick up on it very quickly.

None of this is relevant to the original thread but just goes to show how messy all of these issues can be.[/quote]

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