Reply to Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides.  Empower her, don't make her a victim. [/quote]

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?[/quote]

Not the PP, but OP could teach her daughter to loudly say, I don't appreciate that! I will be letting the principle and your parents know about this. Or fend off and block the guy. Or hit him.

There are some really bad people in the world. I was walking in Spain when a group of migrant workers came up to me and a gang of them accosted me and assaulted me touching me through my clothes. I fended them off by knocking them off. OP's daughter should figure out how to defend herself and stand up for herself, and assess the situation instead of immediately involving the police.[/quote]

PP you are responding to.  Ok, I see what you are saying.  I agree.  I also OP should contact the school, and let this be a learning experience for the young man as well that slapping people's butts is not funny or acceptable.[/quote]

Helicopter parenting at its finest.[/quote]

Why is this helicopter parenting?[/quote]

NP. I don't think this is helicopter parenting.

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this. Meanwhile, if a boy that does what was described is permitted to go get away with it without severe consequences being meted out, then the lesson here is that this is somehow acceptable, and next time it won't be just unwanted touching; that "next time" may occur a decade from now, but the foundation of that attitude begins now.

So, here's what needs to happen. The boy needs to be tracked down. The girl's parents need to go over and describe to the boy's parents what happened and give them a factual account of what happened. The boy's parents are to be appropriately horrified and assure the girl's parents they will nip this in the bud now and the boy will be disciplined at home. If the boy's parents do not behave in this expected fashion, then the girl's parents are free to involve the police -- a visit from a cop to investigate sexual battery, even if the end result isn't an arrest (because no one really wants that, not even the 12 yo girl) it should be to scare the boy senseless into knowing that what he did was unconditionally inappropriate and not sanctioned by anyone.

Then, the 12 yo girl really needs to be told to let it go (with the appropriate lessons about asserting herself in the future). Ideally, the boy apologizes, and they become friends.

But, this is indeed serious and warrants a serious reaction.[/quote]

I think you would be making a big mistake in the long run taking over the handling of this situation for your daughter unless you are comfortable with the idea of always stepping in on her behalf and in her defense. She *needs* to know that she can look out for herself

Your daughter and this boy are both 12 year old kids and really she should learn to how to say LOUDLY - "What are you doing?  Stop it!!".  According to Op, her daughter did say something like that and the boy did stop.  So maybe OP's daughter deserves some credit for handling the whole thing.

On a side note and in all honestly, if possible she should be walking home with a friend. Seriously.  There is safety in numbers.  Take it from a former curvy latch key girl who used to walk home from school....there are weirdos in this world.  A 12 year old boy being a jerk is nothing compared to the creeps that use to slow down and drive next to me offering me rides as I walked home to an empty house or the sicko who chased me half a block with his dick hanging out of his pants.  And unfortunately this type of stuff happened even when I was in my late teens, early/mid 20's.  It didn't happen often but when it did it was scary but I did what I had to do to extricate myself from those situations.

Maybe a self defense class would help to give her some confidence, too.  [/quote]

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