Reply to Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As "tacky' as giving cash is, I have never seen anyone who was not delighted to get it as a gift. [/quote]

For the kajilionty-seventh time: it isn't the giving of cash that is offensive, it's writing on the damn invite that that is the only acceptable gift.[/quote]

Yep, this is what seems to get overlooked repeatedly.

[/quote]
No, I think it overlooked here, we got it, don't worry 
And  to be fair - the "no boxed gifts" phrase only says what kind of gifts they DON'T want but it does not explicitly say that they expect cash or ANY gifts for that matter... What is implied is a different story - but they actually never ask for anything... Having a registry (and yes, we got that you "should not include anything about the registry when sending out wedding invitations", don't have to repeat this either)  is much more of actually "asking for gifts" than that no phrase is.

I'm not defending the "no" couple - but the problem is here is entirely cultural in nature and [b]they just don't realize how that phrase is perceived by many American invitees.[/b] If they knew I bet they would never do it.

[/quote]

[b]They also don't realize how that phrase is perceived by many Indian invitees.  The problem isn't one of Indian culture.  It's a problem of a some families having a family culture of telling people that they won't accept certain gifts.  Don't try to make this about the entire country of India, because it's not.[/quote][/b]

Thanks for reiterating this point which seems to get short shrift despite it being mentioned many times. I am from India and I have never ever known invitation cards in India specifying any kind of gift. It just does not happen. In fact, in the part of India that I am from hardly anyone, other than close family members, give gifts to a couple. Guests are invited to join a CELEBRATION of a union between two people and getting a gift is just not a factor. Now there are other parts of India where cash gifts are given but it is not specified in an invitation or even suggested verbally as being appropriate.

Even here in the US, I have yet to go to an Indian wedding in which the invitation included any kind of instruction as to gifts. The invitation that OP received is not the norm with Indian weddings here. I don't have a problem with cash gifts but one does not cite this form of gift - or any other form of gift - in an invitation. Just as one finds out about a wedding registry informally, one can be informed - if and when the guest asks - that a couple prefers a cash gift.

There have been repeated assertions that this is some cultural difference. Cash being given may have a cultural component but neither in India nor among Indians here is it the norm to suggest directly or indirectly that a gift - cash or otherwise - is expected.[/quote]

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