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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How often do you think this happens?

I caught up with a grad school friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in 4 years. Married, 52, three daughters 12, 14, 17, lawyer. Husband is a lawyer too. No abuse, cheating , drugs or excessive alcohol according to her. Just a ho hum, one foot in front of the other marriage.

Husband came home from work one day last February and said:

"I'm done. I'm in love with a colleague (17 years younger) and I want a drama and trauma free divorce. Please don't make this messy for the girls. Please lets just end this. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen but I don't love you anymore."

It actually made me tear up typing this out because it's just so.... sad. She is a great person- so kind, funny, pretty and now she is.... in deep, deep depression.[/quote]

I had a male colleague who did this to his wife. Oddly, his affair partner wasn't significantly younger, just really "physically exciting." His words, not mine. I'd say it was a classic midlife crisis combined with the fact he's probably somewhere on the autism spectrum and genuinely didn't seem to understand that blowing up his marriage would irrepreprably harm his relationship with his 3 kids (they were early to late teens at the time), his financial security (his first wife was a high earning professional who earned as much as he did, his affair partner shopped all the time and expected him to pay her credit card bills), and make things sort of awkward with a lot of his work colleagues who were very uncomfortable with the flamboyant nature of his new relationship. (Oh yes, it also damaged his relationship with his own parents because he opted to bring his affair partner to his parents' traditional post Christmas family snow country get away. People were storming out of the house and walking away into the woods.) A couple of years later I can say his ex wife does seem to be living her best life, kids seem focused on being more stable than dad. It was a traumatic disaster. But most of the innocent parties emerged ok after about 3 years of endless drama. [/quote]

Menopausal women, and perhaps others, insist that because sex isn't important to them, it's not important at all.  Many husbands disagree, and de-wife her. [/quote]

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