Reply to Belle Burden’s “Strangers”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see this differently than a lot of other commenters and don’t necessarily judge him leaving the kids.

I was married to someone with a personality disorder and one of his favorite threats was to threaten to take the kids from me. This was despite me being the primary caregiver.

Would it be better if she was forced to lose primary custody and not see her kids half the time? I believe a child needs both parents, but there is some nuance when one parent has been the primary parent all along.

While she comes from money, she was mostly illiquid, and he was working 24-7 to support that lifestyle. I am familiar with that NY finance lifestyle and you can’t have it both ways. If you want the country house, private school and nice apartment then your husband is mostly absent unless you have generational wealthy to use. It’s not surprising he was mostly absent. I highly doubt she ever offered to return to work so he could scale back and spend time with the kids. She instead probably wanted that Colony Club membership more. Then they get divorced and it makes sense she continued on as the primary and really only true parent.

IMHO the gentlemanly thing to do wasn’t for him to leave her AND take her kids half the time while he was at it. He probably thought he was choosing the lesser of two evils.

I’ve known plenty of these NY women and they are vapid, shallow and their main priority is the lifestyle and social life. I’d be shocked if she’s not similar. [/quote]

this is the best comment in this thread and as a Native New yorker this is so true.

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I think he was terrible/selfish/personality disordered for not wanting custody but I do agree that it seems [b]her life essentially revolved around her children[/b] and the upper class lifestyle she enjoyed, without accounting for the fact that the type of husband to provide that lifestyle would have to be away from home so much and that that was a risky situation. I think he probably wanted to be away and at work regardless of whether she wanted to pitch in and have a career of her own but she sure seems like the type that didn't want to work and believed women should be SAHMs.

She grew up extremely privileged and had an excellent education so she's not a terrible writer, but is she smart? No. [/quote]

[b]Generally people that are into being mothers don’t ship their kids off to boarding school and let them quarantine with another family during covid.[/b] This lady is dull and helpless. And her writing sucks — I don’t know what kind of crap y’all read that you think this was a good book.[/quote]

+10000. Can’t believe how many bought the story line of her being this amazing mom who was left high and dry.

She was hardly even spending time with her husband. She wasn’t sad she lost HIM, friendship, sex. She was upset she lost the status of marriage and it threatened her club memberships.

Don’t even get me started on how her dad spent all his money and was broke. She has similar spending habits and her ex tried to get control of it so she didn’t end up in the same position. Amazing how she’s spinning that one.

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