Reply to Both my husband and I have no friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find it so off putting when lonely people who randomly live near you think you’re supposed to be friends. It’s so presumptuous and creepy. There was a rich charismatic guy on a podcast today — Bill Simmons — and he said he wants absolutely nothing to do with his neighbors. I think most people feel that way. A wave of we drive by each other and that’s it.[/quote]

This makes me sad. Being casual friends with your neighbors can bring some joy to life and make everyday living fun. First off, it’s easy and convenient. You can casually get together or grab drinks without having to drive somewhere. It’s fun for children and it’s good to build a sense of community.

Keeping your family isolated is teaching your kids that community doesn’t matter and you don’t care about other people. You don’t realize you’re teaching them this, but you are.

I have some neighbors who come and go and have not made a single friend in the neighborhood and I think it’s bizarre they will spend 15-20 years of their life here and one day drive away without having made a single connection.

A lifestyle where you work on your computer on Teams and only hang with your spouse and kids is self-limiting and not much fun. [/quote]

Agreed. It strikes me as sad. Geographic community isn't the only kind, but it does matter.

Most of the time I wish I made more money and lived in a bigger house with a bigger yard, but sometimes I read stuff like this and think "[b]ugh, rich people culture sucks, glad to miss out on that[/b]." [/quote]

I live in a wealthy neighborhood and observe very little socializing. I rarely come across someone having a party, people over or really any social activity. [/quote]

I live in a wealthy neighborhood and we socialize a lot. Our immediate neighbors are all retired so we don't do much with them but they are often having people over or organizing events. We spend time with our friends in common areas and see people there quite a bit as well. Our neighborhood also hosts large gatherings on a regular basis. Kids are always out and about (more so during summer, during the school year it gets trickier with sports after school but still at least a few days a week they do).[/quote]

Why don't you socialize with your neighbors who are retired? One of my former neighbors was retired and she used to be the one who organized all the get togethers and outings -- all women who would get together simply because we lived near each other. No other reason. We were of different ages and held different political beliefs and different family situations. The only thing we had in common was that we were neighbors. I would not have picked them out to be friends with otherwise -- but it was a lot of fun. I don't understand people who think they can only socialize with people who check off all the boxes. I no longer live there but I make a point to get together with this older woman for coffee or lunch once a week or every other week because I know she wants company -- and I really enjoy her company -- and also that's what makes a community a community -- keeping tabs on people and being a part of their lives. I really worry for this country. So many people simply incapable of being a part of a community.[/quote]

I said we don't do much with them, not that we don't do anything with them. I have friends from growing up, friends from college, friends from various jobs, friends I met through my kids' friends, plus my neighborhood friends that are closer to my age, all of whom I very much enjoy spending time with and have a lot in common with. My retired neighbors want to play pickleball at 11 am on a Tuesday (my friends and I play at 6:30 at night during the week). They enjoy dinner parties that start at 5 on a Friday where everyone bring really elaborate dishes. My friends and I tend to get together later in the evening with food we're able to prepare more quickly since we're all working and shuttling kids around. It's not that I don't like my retired neighbors, it's that our schedules don't always match up and time is finite so I'm going to use it to be with the friends I am far closer with. So your sob story about how we don't socialize generationally can be saved for another time. [/quote]

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