Reply to Eye-opening new study on the harms of divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My friend divorced her husband who was extremely controlling over the whole family and especially abusive towards their oldest daughter.

I cannot for the life of me imagine that daughter wishing her parents had stayed together. She is an older teen now and the trauma has led to her developing debilitating mental illnesses. She may not graduate from high school.

I’m not sure anyone who had known this family casually would be able to see that there were serious problems going on. From the outside, the family looked normal and successful. Posters like OP and the smug ones here might see it as a “frivolous” divorce. 
A lot of you do not know as much as you think you know.

I got divorced after repressing my sexuality for decades. When I was young I wanted the family and the white picket fence. I married a man and really, truly believed it would be OK. It turns out that repressing my sexuality was not sustainable and divorce was the only reasonable solution.

People like to cherry pick the divorces they see as frivolous and pretend that is representative of most divorces. It is not. ]

[b]Choosing to repress your sexuality is your choice.[/b] Sure there may be reasons but then you dragged your ex husband and children into this charade. You actively created this situation. Don’t act like this didn’t deeply impact everyone involved. You’re not the victim here. [/quote]

Um, no. 
There is a difference between making an active choice to hide one’s sexuality from others, and repressing/dismissing one’s own thoughts as bad or unimportant and not even allowing yourself to have them. I wasn’t brought up to believe that what you wanted and how you felt was important or should or could be explored. That’s really nice if you were brought up in an environment where you were free to be yourself. Please know that it is not that way for everyone.

I don’t hate men and I did love my husband when we got married. If I’m being honest, the marriage might have survived if my husband had been a different sort of man. It’s not that I felt compelled to leave for sexual reasons. There were other issues that tipped the balance.

I really hope you find some peace. Anger isn’t good for your health.

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