Reply to Are upper middle class family gatherings now just luxury travel pissing contests?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think people are misinterpreting OP's complaint. I don't see OP saying that any discussion of travel should be avoided, but specifically that "pissing contests" over travel are annoying and unpleasant. To me this is a distinct thing. I love hearing about others' travels or whatever they've been up to that they are excited about (could be a recent trip to Japan or some new plantings in their garden or a new hobby or whatever). But I don't enjoy when family member or friends engage in pissing contests over anything but especially something like travel where this can easily devolve into who traveled the most or the furthest or went to the most impressive/rare place.

My family doesn't do this with travel but recently got into this pattern with charitable activity. Now I of course am very supportive of all their charitable activity! But some recent family gatherings have become weirdly competitive with people talking about their charitable activity in a competitive way and explicitly trying to top one another and impress one another with how much they are giving or volunteering. It's really weird!

My response to conversations like this is to not participate and look for ways to change the subject or exit the convo. It's the competitive vibe and one-upsmanship that is the problem, not the actual subject of conversation which is essentially neutral.[/quote]

I’m a travel enthusiast. I don’t think it is a pissing contest when people share travel plans or stories. Maybe it sounds like this to a third party who isn’t engaging. I’m very passionate about travel and get excited talking about it.

We recently went to a Taylor swift concert. My daughter loves Taylor swift. I remember telling my daughter not to brag. She was so excited before and after the concert. She doesn’t know or care how much tickets cost. Her friends may have been also excited to go to Disney or their grandparents house in Michigan to spend with their cousins.[/quote]

I’m confused. Why would someone brag about attending a Taylor Swift concert?[/quote]

All of her friends like Taylor swift. Not everyone can drop 10k for a concert.[/quote]

In this area? I’m surprised. [/quote]

We can easily spend that, but not willing to spend that for a tween/teen.  I have never spent that much on a concert for myself, so why would I do it for a tween/teen?  
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I personally want to spend that experience with my daughter. I also have never spent that much on a concert. I hope to remain close to my children. I want to hang out with them and my grandchildren one day and yes, travel together.[/quote]

And if that's what you want, go for it!  We are close to our 20 something kids.  We travel with them (we still pay so that helps, they of course want to come). We plan to continue paying for them and their SO/Families as they grow older.  Travel is so much fun!  Point is people do what they value.  We would rather spend that $10K on a trip to Europe.  My kid knows that (college age) and didn't even ask for $3K for tickets when Taylor was in our area (not DCUM).  But I get that everyone spends on what matters to them.  Why not spend money if you have it and have budgeted it for "entertainment/travel/extras"
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