Reply to Does anyone hate how competitive the world has become?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s because parents are involved. They’ve ruined everything![/quote]

And that gets back to the foreign elite test mill culture that has taken root. [/quote]

Omg it isn’t foreign elites. American parents are doing a fine job ruining sports on their own.[/quote]

We are "foreign elite" - highly educated immigrants with high HHI. I can tell you that our parenting is changing American parents, I can see it with our American friends. I am talking about very high academic expectations in particular. Like, expectations of excellence in whatever they are doing. Not saying it's the only factor or anything, but there is a real effect there.[/quote]

I think it's possible that among certain classes, highly competitive parenting styles "imported "from other countries, mostly east Asian and south East Asian, are affecting the culture, and that that has filtered down to the middle class.

I am chagrined about this, like many others on this thread (and it's the point of the OP's post)  This emphasis on winning, being better than others at all costs, the pursuit of the highest grades and the best schools – it's toxic and ugly.  It's the worst of human nature.  There is a reason why depression and suicide rates are sky high in Asian countries.  Some adults will say that you're glad that your parents made you play violin 8 hours a day or whatever, but this isn't the life that many of us want for our children.

I'm not blaming the competitive state of parenting today on Asian culture, but I think it is a factor.  [/quote]

The thing is that this is not just Asian culture. It's specifically the culture of elite Asian immigrants to the US. If you think there is pressure in Asian countries to be perfect and succeed then the pressure that wealth and highly educated Asian immigrants are imposing is a finely distilled version of it. And because we are talking about wealthy people with expensive degrees it carries with it a high level of entitlement. The "tiger mom" culture is just this -- we are fundamentally better than other people and will do and pay anything to prove it.

A pursuit of excellence and success isn't inherently bad. But when you mix it in with this superiority that's when it becomes really toxic. We are superior to others because of our success. Also our children must succeed to show how superior we are. There is no way for this not to result in misery for at least some members of the culture. And their misery will then be viewed as a sign of their weakness and inferiority. It's terrifying.

I have no idea why anyone would emulate these cultural beliefs. In the hopes it will result in your kid getting into CalTech and going to work for FANG I guess. It is a really messed up set of values and I urge everyone Asian or not to reject it. This is not the way.[/quote]

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