Reply to Daughter married a doctor, he’s pressuring her to pay off his student debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, come back and answer the key question: what does it mean pressuring to pay ??

Is it that she uses pre-marital assets to pay a lump sum towards his debts? If so, that doesn't seem right.

Is it that they have a joint budget and share expenses 50-50 including the recurring debt payments? That seems fair if she is planning to benefit from his future salary too.

How we did it: i had zero debts, a higher salary and higher career prospects. He had student debts and an NGO career. He paid his debt on his own but we contributed to the family budget proportionally to our income (ie, post debt payments he was making half of what i made so he put half of what i put in the family pot). We didn't fully merge as i kept more savings than him but at the end of the day I still helped him pay his debts. And then for the last 10K i put a lump sum and paid them off.[/quote]

How does the "more savings" work?  When you turn 65 and retire, you get to travel and he can't because "he didn't save enough"? 
Or do you pay for all vacations because you make more?  [/quote]

How do you know you’ll still be married at 65? Or both alive at 65? Coercing a debt free young wife to bail you out of $400,000 in debt makes you a chickenshit mooch.[/quote]

So does the reverse work?  Now they are married, once he pays off "his debt" is his income all his to spend as he sees fit?  He pays half the living expenses and she pays the other half?  Even if he makes $300K and she makes $75K? Why should he contribute more than half, if there's a chance she will leave him for someone else in 5 years?

Me personally, I choose carefully for getting married, and that includes real discussions about finances and everything else in life.  If you are not on a similar page for most things, then don't get married.  But I cannot imagine being married to someone who views finances as "theirs" and"mine" We are a team, and as such we do what financially benefits the entire family most.  I don't go thru life planning as if my marriage is a sham and will be over in 4-5 years.  
[/quote]

OP says her daughter has a good job and no debt. It’s entirely possible she’ll end up making the same if not more than her taker DH by the time he pays off his debt.[/quote]

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