Reply to What can American women learn from foreign women?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What can American women learn from foreign women?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course European women do more to appease men - no objecting, no strong opinions, go with the flow, be feminine and sexy. They live in societies where a woman’s wellbeing is based upon the support of a man.

Women in America are as educated and make as much money as men. Women in America are not like foreign women bc they don’t have to be like them. American women can pay their own way and don’t need to rely on their looks and feminine demeanor to survive.

These posts are exhausting. If foreign women are so great then go find one. As it turns out, the large majority of American men marry American women. So instead of wishing American women would change, how about embracing them for who they are and the strengths they bring to a relationship. [/quote]

What you wrote is untrue. In former USSR women were socially, sexually and economically emancipated at least 30 years earlier than in the US. 4 generations of my female predecessors were working full time, were either equal earners or breadwinners in their families, and had nannies. At  the same time my grandmother taught me to cook and to tailor dresses. It’s just a culture to be feminine out there, and maintain gender roles. Average education level was also higher (and free) than in the US. You are comparing average American women to highly educated women who moved to DC area from abroad (on scholarship, thanks to parental money etc). These are apples vs oranges. An average American born woman who lives in dmv has totally different (and often lower  social level upbringing).  Professional American men in dmv are hunting for successful foreign born women for a reason. It’s a way for them to “upgrade” to a higher social level partner- both in looks, demeanor and education. [/quote]

Maybe you’re part of the Moscow (or whatever city) elite but don’t kid yourself that women in rural ex-USSR are any more emancipated than their US counterparts.

I agree about women just being allowed to be women in all of Europe while competing while in the US, there’s a very complex expectation of never being allowed to be nurturing or “soft” while in the same moment being told that skirts are better than pant suits. It’s a bit exhausting.[/quote]

I grew up in a smallish (200K population) town in the south of former USSR.  Women were 100% emancipated in that there were equal rights guaranteed to men and women, with high women participation in the workforce, government, sports etc. The expectation were that women would receive an education and work, which was made easier by a longish guaranteed maternity leave and early retirement (meaning availability of grandparents for childcare).   None of that business of needing your husband's permission for a bank account.  My mom taught music.  My dad was a blue collar worker.  Hardly members of the urban elite!

With that said, there were totally expectations of feminine behavior and homemaking, as well as most of the parenting.  That part was very unfair. Again, made somewhat easier with smaller families, grandparents on hand, and smaller living quarters.

What I hear from American men who go gaga for the Russsian/Russian-adjacent women is that they admire their smarts as well as femininity.  This is of course grossly distorted by the fact that the sort of USSR-born woman they are likely to encounter in the DC area is highly educated from a middleclass family (with all the "classy" extracurriculars that came with this SES in the USSR like music, ballet, opera, figure skating etc.).  It is not representative of post-USSR women as a whole.  But essentially it is a way to obtain a UMC-mindset woman without UMC-level costs.

Where I think we are really different from American women is that we see life the way it is, and not the way it "ought to be".  We want to survive, and behave to survive under the circumstances in which we find ourselves. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics