Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the first wife in this scenario.  I was going to grow old with my husband, one kid, good jobs, stable home life, life was good.  Until we hit our mid-40’s when our kid was in high school and an affair destroyed the marriage.  My now XH had a vasectomy when our son was young as neither of us wanted any other kids.

Within a year of the divorce he had remarried, gotten himself a full time step-kid (the other dad wasn’t in the picture) and his new wife was pregnant- apparently they had to get medical intervention to help.  That baby was born around the same time our son was graduating from high school.

My son loves his half-sibling, has no use for his step-sibling and his relationship with his dad is very superficial, through no fault or action of his own.  When he’s home from college on breaks he’ll split his time between houses but his dad never makes time for him one on one.  My son is only around a few weeks a year and his dad can’t take one evening to have dinner, or a few hours to take a walk.  My XH visited him at school freshman year (with his new family) but hasn’t been since.  I try to go at least once a semester, and I cover all of the “parents weekend” type events.  I know my sons friends, his fraternity brothers and some of their parents.  My XH is completely uninvolved by his choice and really has no interest in my son.  He’s moved on and has a new life.  I’m not keeping my son from his dad, I’ve never said a bad thing about him and our son thinks we divorced because we grew apart.  I fully encourage their relationship and sit on the sidelines while he asks his dad to participate in his important events before me.  I stand by ready to go when his dad says no.

My son knows he can’t count on anything in terms of inheritance from his dad and I’m doing everything I can to try and maximize my own estate for his benefit.  [/quote]

Who had the affair?  Lots of parents don’t visit their kids in college.  Mine never did except for a medical issue.  [/quote]

Just because your parents suck doesn’t mean it’s okay.[/quote]

Why would you frequently visit?  That is not normal.  [/quote]
It’s sad you had such $hitty parents.[/quote]

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