Reply to Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM

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Reply to "Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas![/quote]

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one. [/quote]

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect.  Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does.  I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away.  IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law.  A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner.  That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.[/quote]

See above what men write: you have to work at 48! As if there is an abundance of well paying jobs available to a SAHM  after a long gap with employment. These men are totally self centered and disconnected from reality. 
If I was playing my marriage history again, I would not have stayed at home and supported his traveling career without a stone clad postnup[/quote]

The problem I see is that deep down most men don’t care if their wife stays home.  Whereas a lot of these wives talk about how much they are doing for the family, the sacrifices etc.  However, their husbands don’t care and place little value on it.  They are just going along with it.  Then 10 years later they get divorced and the wives talk about how they gave everything up, quit their jobs for their family.  Problem is their husbands never asked for that.  [/quote]

Problem is, some husbands to help out sufficiently at home after kids arrive and the wife ends up caving, giving up her career, and focusing on the home and children to provide a decent upbringing for the kids. It’s not an easy decision. Years of working to get into great schools, obtaining degrees, working hard at a career to all be put on pause because husband won’t do his share of home and child care.  Because this is cyclical, men continue to move up the latter more easily and hence the husband is likely to make more than the wife. As a result, it’s easier to decide on the woman walking away from her career than the man and thus, the perpetual cycle continues. Stay at home mom each year gets further way from her career and down the line, there is a power imbalance. He views her as less. She feels unappreciated and alas, divorce. She is now completely out or touch with her career and no real place to fit. Over qualified for entry level and not familiar enough with recent practices for mid-level. In some cases, women end up doing odd office jobs that aren’t even in her original chosen career and for much less had she grown in her career so alimony is definitely needed.

The woman indeed deserves her fair share.
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