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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread got really long. So to summarize for newbies trying to follow….

Dcmoms: kids of divorced are traumatized because their lives have been turned upside down
Also Dcmoms: you MUST get rid of all family traditions after a divorce, this makes me feel more secure in my marriage[/quote]

LOL to summarize:

Divorced moms: being divorced is just a minor thing like being right or left-handed; anyone who thinks it's weird to act married while being divorced lives in the stone ages;
Everyone else: you look thirsty AF when you advertise how much of a family you still are thru cards and social media
Divorced moms: NO!! LOOK AT US! We are better people and parents because of not in spite of divorce. BELIEVE US!! HAPPY AF!![/quote]

Research finds divorced women are happier https://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a48019/women-happier-after-divorce/

Also, it is better for kids to grow up with divorced parents than in a home with abuse. Abuse is major contributor to the initiation of divorces. Lastly, when children are young and divorce occurs they typically are not eager to break family traditions. Most divorced parents are very familiar with this. They get questions like…can we still A, B, C.

Women deserve happiness and love abuse free. Children deserve to live in homes with happy parents and free of abuse. Love conquers all. Some divorced people can still have love for one another and not want to be romantically linked. There should no shame in loving yourself and your family.

None of these conclusions should upset the married people on this board. Just as gay marriage didn’t unravel your sacred institution, neither with cooperative divorces. It just means there will be more happiness to go around. Have a great day![/quote]

The question is not whether the parents are happier, but whether the children are happier. And I'm not talking about getting out of abusive relationships. That makes sense that everyone is happier. I'm talking about the divorce over chores, sex, etc. With gay marriage, that was increasing family stability, so it makes total sense to support it. With divorce, it is decreasing it, no matter what the gleefully divorced want to think. [/quote]

You can’t say X (married) is happier or Y (divorced) is happier. What we know is some marriages are happy, some are not. Some divorces are happier, some are not.

This thread is about an amicable marriage. Is it good for the kids to be amicable? Or is it better to be not amicable?

Some thing being amicable is confusing for kids. So if you’re going to be amicable you should stay married.

So if you’re not abused stay married. Really?[/quote]

Actually, yes. You stay married to stay a family. Minus abuse, you put the needs of your kids and family over marginal personal wants.[/quote]

No you don’t. I know you need to believe that to justify your choices but no you don’t have to stay in an unhappy marriage. But obviously an amicable divorce is better than a toxic one.

You don’t stay in an unhappy marriage, you might have tough time you work through but you don’t stay in a broken marriage.[/quote]

No, you work on your unhappiness and find a way to be happy, or at least fix the "broken" marriage, because there are others who are affected by your decisions. This is called being a responsible parent, a well functioning grown up. If there is abuse, that's a different story. If you are married with no kids, a different story.

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