Reply to What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do. [/quote]

Not from what I've heard from women who are over 50.  My sis in law had lots of options and these guys came on strong with marriage proposals way too fast for her liking.  Her impression was that they are desperate to remarry at a certain age.[/quote]

This was what I noticed with my mom when she was widowed in her late 50s. There’s a lot of men looking for someone to take care of them in her old age. [/quote]

Pfffft I don't know a single older guy who is like that but this tired DCUM trope will never die.[/quote]

Really?  I do.  
Most of the divorced older men I know are constantly looking for women.  I can really only think of two who weren’t.  (Both are retired military and former olympians…I don’t know if there is a correlation there).  
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We’re looking for women for sex and companionship not for a nursemaid and housekeeper FFS.[/quote]

You think these women are in there for your companionship and sex but they aren't. Unless your new woman is in 300K+ income bracket with healthy retirement account and a nice paid off house of her own by age 50, she's in for your money, savings, housing, joint insurance and peaceful retirement.
So don't mislead yourself into thinking your personality and other manly quality were worth for a mid ages woman to consider the trouble of a LTR[/quote]

(shrug) so far I haven't dated anyone who isn't an educated professional with a good job and her own house. In other words, DCUM-type women. It's pretty easy to guess a person's social class from their dating profile, and I don't swipe right on anyone who looks like they want a bailout.

And, as I'm not going to remarry or cohabit, any evil scheme any woman may have to get my money, my house, my insurance, or my retirement is doomed to disappointment.[/quote]

As long as you're open about not wanting to re-marry or co-habilitate, and women are still willing, why not dating?

The posters above were discussing men marrying after 60. I presume you are still younger (and thus your dating options are open for now). But don't wait too long till you're 60: these well-off dcurbanmom types your are dating in theirs current late 30s-40s would be all remarried by the time you hit retirement age. You will be dealing with younger predatory women or LMC older women who look for support themselves in their late 50s.

I am early 40s and well-off (income of 300K+, investments, retirement, own house etc)). I stop communicating with any first and second dates who tell they are not interested in marriage. For me marriage is important and nothing can provide such stability to both man and woman when it's a true partnership. I had overall a happy marriage until my exH got nuts in his 50s with mid-life crisis. He still regrets his indiscretions and bitter over me filing for divorce. But I do want to remarry and have a stability of a true companionship, a larger joint income (2 joint incomes is better than 1 single, even when it's  high), more opportunities to travel together, live that "couple life" with not just single friends but couple friends and possibly adopting a child in late 40s.

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Do you need a formal marriage to get the things in your last paragraph? You are ruling out a lot of men by refusing to consider men who are into long-term partnerships but not interested in marriage. Many men have been burned financially and emotionally going through divorce, and don’t see a need to potentially have to go through that again, given the stats on second marriage. I am in my late 50s now and have been in a long-term relationship with my partner since my early 40s, we are the same age.  I know many couples who got together in their 40s and stayed together in a long-term partnership without getting married. I don’t think having a marriage certificate makes a relationship any more of a relationship if two people are committed to each other.[/quote]

No I am not interested in such partnership. I am a lawyer myself and know that laws and trusts mechanisms are totally protecting pre-marital assets. If he still has hang ups about mixing incomes and be transparent with his financials, there are deep trust issues with the guy. I would rather stay alone than investing my time into this relationship. And it’s meant to downsize my dating pool, correct. I have no issues with that.
See I am still relatively young, didn’t have enough Dinsey trips with my only child and want to have a second child. Marriage is the best setting for that.

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