Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
It must be really scary to realize that there are many non-cheaters on here advocating to not use your children as a dumping ground for your adult issues.[/quote]

[b]I don’t believe there are many of you.  [/b]I think it’s just a handful of posters at most that are probably cheaters or are just raised in such a dysfunctional environment that they feel strongly about protecting abusers.

Literally everyone I know believes that children should be told about the reason for divorce.  It IS their business, as children of divorce and children of cheaters have lifelong issues as a result.  This has been well documented over decades of research.  Use the google if you aren’t aware of this.

The saddest part of this whole argument is that some of you clearly can’t conceive that people are capable of communicating a message to children in an age appropriate way, without anger or agenda.  We told my children in the office of his psychologist, at his recommendation, with an age appropriate statement we worked on ahead of time.

The fact that you can’t imagine a message being conveyed without alterior motives or anger says more about YOU than anything else.  It’s sad if you haven’t seen enough examples of this in your life.  [/quote]
So now you want to move the goal post from one cheater to trying to justify not telling kids to thinking there are a few posters that. Your post are nothing but rage and drivel. You’re an adult. Get some therapy instead of burdening your children.[/quote]

Definitely. There is literally *no* reason to share this painful information with children other than to turn them against their father. It is beyond selfish and they are not developmentally capable of having a mature perspective on this information. A parent's job is to put their needs above his/her own petty wishes. A simple "Mommy and Daddy don't get along and can't live together anymore. Sometimes married people grown apart and that's okay. We will always love and take care of you" is in their best interest, which is the only thing that should concern you.[/quote]

100% correct! [/quote]

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