Reply to Do you wish you had your children younger

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you had kids in your 20s, (or 15) you were probably had a crappy job with no prospects and let's face it, no career ambition. Having kids was not a "choice"- it was either an accident or default because you had no ambition. You  weren't sitting around strategically thinking ahead at your life  and decided when was the best time to have kids. Funny how years later you look back and it seems like you were sooo smart. [/quote]

Nope, you're wrong. The difference is that for younger Moms having a family TRUMPS having a high-powered position.

But you're right. When I'm 45 and an empty-nester and have as much (or as little) time as I want to devote to whatever strikes my fancy, I will feel "sooo smart". [/quote]

Don't women determined to be young moms often settle for a husband whom they wouldn't have settled for otherwise? I didn't even meet my DH until I was 27. If I had been determined to procreate, I would have picked the wrong dad.  And btw, even those of us who had kids in our 30s value them more than our high powered positions (but some of us are lucky to have both ;-) ).[/quote]

Nope, actually you probably have that backwards.

When folks marry young, they usually do it for love. Sometimes it works out great, sometimes that love changes and divorce happens.

What I find is that as women age, they get more desperate. Once their careers are set or they're done "finding themselves" they have an "Oh shit" moment and realize they better get on the ball to find a mate. Traits that were once unacceptable are now deemed "good enough" and they settle because their biological clocks are ticking. When women marry after 35, you're likely to find that they get (or try to get) pregnant right away.

DCUM is littered with older women who can't stand their husbands and are only with them for stability. Many are counting down until the kids are out of the house so that they can divorce. Many also seem unhappy at their new life and long for their once carefree days. Some have even asked "Do you miss your childfree days? and/or Do you regret having children?". [/quote]

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