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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I heard if you do laundry and dishes and take the kids so she can have me time she will get libido back for you. I’ve never seen that happen. But it’s a theory. [/quote]

Isn’t that your job as a f**king parent? Maybe she doesn’t want to have sex with a man-child who thinks he should be rewarded for basic contributions to the household. [/quote]

Can you imagine if moms would get a gold medal for doing the laundry and dishes?! [/quote]

Or watching our own children? [/quote]

How do I improve her desire for sex?
Do X,Y,Z.
Doing X,Y,Z didn't work.
Yeah, we were just kidding about that. We just thought you should be doing X,Y,Z anyway. [/quote]

Part of the problem is you are treating libido as if it were an on/off switch, where every action either turns it on or off.  In your way of thinking, if failing to ever wash the dishes is a turn off, then doing the dishes must be a turn on.  That’s not how it works.

Setting aside physiological issues, libido works more like a sliding scale, with extremely turned on at one end, extremely turned off at the other end, and sort of a take-it-or-leave-it point in the middle.  If you did three libido killing things earlier in the day and then one libido-enhancing thing, that one libido-enhancing thing may not be enough to completely offset the three libido-killing things so she still won’t be in the mood.

Also, many (perhaps most) factors really only move the slide in one direction when you do them, and have no effect when you don’t.  For instance, going out to a nice dinner together may move the slide toward turned on, but the lack of a nice dinner out on any given evening is not going to move the slide toward “turned off” unless there are other factors involved like you forgetting to book a sitter like you said you would so you have to cancel the dinner.  Absent a circumstance like that, those positive factors generally will only help libido.

The flip side are things that only move the slide in the negative direction, like failing to do the dishes.  Leaving the dishes for her while you watch tv even though she’s done all the meal prep and other household chores is likely a libido killer that will move the slide toward turned off.  You doing the dishes will not move the slide toward turned on, but it will keep it from moving toward turned off.

Also, there are libido-enhancing things and libido-killing things that aren’t about your relationship but still have an effect.  Fatigue, stress, etc., are generally turn offs.  Exercise, non-sexual social engagement with friends, good news at work, etc., will often be libido-enhancing.  You can’t directly affect those, but they will affect sex drive anyway and making room for libido-enhancing activities can be a way to indirectly increase it.[/quote]

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