Reply to I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA

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Reply to "I was an AP and now I'm a wife, AMA"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it’s unique for each situation. As a kid, three of my friends had parents that divorced over cheating.

One friend had parents that were previously married and started their affair while both married to others. They married and had my friend. I traveled with them and the parents had a great marriage. Together 25 years before dad died of cancer.  Dad had a strained relationship with kids from first marriage.

Second friend dad cheated on mom while married. He divorced mom and married AP.  Dad and new wife had more kids together.  My friend didn’t like the step mom and siblings from the first marriage always resented that step mom broke up parents marriage. They have been happily married for 30+ years now.

Third friend found out mom was cheating on dad when friend’s boyfriend saw mom dating the dad of a player from his sports team. Friend was devastated. Mom and dad divorced. Dad is happily remarried. Mom dated AP, but it didn’t work out. Friend’s brother tragically died of an overdose 3 years ago.

While most people don’t leave their spouse for an AP, I think a fair amount of people who leave their spouse for their AP end up marrying them. Of course, this has a lasting effect on kids from the first marriage.

I have a current friend who was in a crappy marriage and was on the cusp of leaving. She met a man and started seeing him. This new relationship gave her the momentum to leave the marriage. Our friend group had watched her struggle for many years. We were so excited for her to finally leave her xH that no one cared she was still married. Her AP was in a bad marriage as well and left his wife for our friend.

They are married now and appear happy. Both say they are grateful to have each other as they know how terrible it is to be in a bad marriage. FWIW, no one cares that they met through an affair. Our families are friends and we vacation with them. 
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