Reply to Disgusted by Wife’s Obesity But Don’t Want a Divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I just wanted to tell you that I am in the same boat. My husband has gained 40-50lbs since we have been together and I find him repulsive. I have tried every method possible to help him lose weight. I make healthy meals; I am very supportive about any efforts on his part to work out. I have tried talking to him about it. I have tried not talking to him about it and giving him positive feedback. We have tried counseling. I have tried to ignore it for years. I love sex and regularly have it with him (even though I find him sexually disgusting...and resent the fact that his girth impacts our sexual positions, etc). He has every excuse in the book: I’m too stressed to work out; it’s my fault he doesn’t have time to work out; I’m superficial for wanting him to be as thin as he was or healthy. I just feel disrespected and sad. I want to have a relationship where I am still sexually attracted to my husband and am attracted to him. But, nothing has resulted in him changing his attitude toward taking care of his body and keeping our sex life alive.

I don’t have any answers for you. Just wanted you to know that I understand where you are coming from and think this is a legitimate concern. Your wife is disrespecting you and your relationship by refusing to take care of herself and her weight issues.

For what it’s worth, I have had 4 kids and always returned to my prepregnancy weight.

If I could go back in time, I would pick a partner that cares about being physically in tune with his body and valued having an active sex life. But, I have kids and we have been married for 16 years. He’s a good father[b] and provider. [/b]Am I going to divorce him because he’s fat and we have no sex life and are basically child rearing partners? It would seem completely unrealistic to me. I have thought about trying to find a sexual relationship on the side, but that seems so risky and complicated.[/quote]

BINGO[/quote]

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