Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP -

I am glad your daughter is in a better place, and it is natural with some distance from the event that she feels better.  I can understand why she doesn't want you to tell the coach or school, and why you want to stay true to her wishes.  I am really sympathetic to your position, BUT I really think the coach should know about this and not just for your daughter's sake.  There is something really rotten happening with her entire team.  Posters keep citing the two ring leaders, but unfortunately it is a much bigger problem than this.  The entire team was in on it, had to keep silent for weeks - that is pretty calculated and disturbing and someone (ideally the coach) needs to get to the bottom of it.

You don't need to go with the nuclear approach that some are suggesting of calling colleges or alerting the media.  You don't even need to demand specific punishments.  I think you said some on the varsity team knows about this.  There is a chance that the captains will go to the coach, but I think a neutral, factual explanation from an adult is in order.

Wishing for the best for both of you.[/quote]

I agree.

I would say something.

Ignoring stuff like this is how we end up with news reports of varsity soccer players ending up sodomized in the locker room as part of some "team initiation" gone wrong. It never starts with the broomstick. There are piles of small humiliations leading up to this kind of thing.

If these girls are this bad now, imagine them in a year or two.[/quote]

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