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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I call bs. No 19 year old male wants sea shells. Not even a gay one. I just spent the week with a 19 yo male gay relative who didn’t give two shits about shells unless they were those Velveeta shells & cheese. And all of teens were like this kid, kinda self centered and absolute garbage disposals. More than one the words “hey, leave some for the rest of us!” was said. Maybe since it wasn’t family the op didn’t feel she could say that. And the college aged ones were down for anything as long as they weren’t paying.

If everyone was on their own for a meal, they ate at home or hit up Taco Bell to eat cheap. When out to dinner when it was an adults turn to pay, steak & lobster were ordered. This is especially true with the guys. [/quote]

Eh? Speak for yourself. There is a huge amount of extrapolation going on here. Do you know how silly you sound?

When I was of that age I was invited to various trips with friends' families. My hosts kindly paid for most of the costs and I would have never dreamed of ordering expensive food off the menu unless explicitly encouraged by the host. The difference was that I was well brought up. Unfortunately I have seen this kind of behavior in others, people who are greedy for anything regardless of whether it's food or sea shells. It's not the object that makes them greedy (nor the sexuality, FYI, nice display of homosexual stereotyping here, honey). It's a mindset. [/quote]

My teen DD has a friend who will act like the 19 yr old in the story.  This girl is from an upper middle class home but her parents are not. They grew up working class poor and have remarked several times that they were never invited on trips with friends or out to dinner and so on when they were young nor did their parents host others because it just wasn't financially feasible for their family or their friends.  If the parents really aren't familiar with these situations, they really don't know what guidance to offer a kid. They themselves might think nothing of ordering the most expensive thing because that thing is on the menu and the host said "order anything you like". But that's really a subtle social cue that is understood by certain socioeconomic classes.  [b]It really means " I am inviting you to have dinner with us and I expect you to order something price wise in line with what our family orders or costs less"[/b][/quote]

This. If you are raised in a family where eating out was rarely done (for financial or other reasons), then learning the subtle lessons of restaurant dining are lost on you. I recently had to explain to DS, age 11, when we go out to dinner with another family and it's their treat, that you don't order the most expensive thing on the menu, and that you follow the example of the inviter with regard to appetizers and drinks. But, I could easily imagine that if a child does not have these experiences, then he could easily go to college not knowing how to behave and just order whatever he wanted because it looked good.[/quote]

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