Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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Reply to "Closed Adoption and found the birth mother"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Ok- here is the fallacy. It seems to be all about her and the experience that she can  control. Once the child is born, the child carries with it the entire ancestry and decendancy. And no, she has no control over that. That kid has relatives now that are his, not just her. The continual issue that  you are bringing forward has to do  with what is being characterized as a shameful act- to be gossiped about. It seems to always come back to this- and that she should have control over that. She has no control- even in a closed adoption, she can refuse contact later, but that doesn't control any other relative, the father, the siblings, the grandparents, cousins etc. all of whom have a say here, too. The child's existance and agency is dicatated by no one. [/quote]

Surely you understand that the news of a child given up for adoption a long time ago introduces major upheaval into the birth mother's relationship with her family members who were not aware of the child.  Possibly ruin them.  Possibly change them forever.  Your position, then, is that she should simply deal with it. Get over it.   The rights of the adopted child make all of this unimportant. [/quote]

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