Reply to An explanation and request from a mom of a kid with autism

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh and people - it would be embarrassing if I didn't call you out when you're being hateful and unkind to my innocent disabled child for being odd. That's what would be embarrassing. You are all so determined to be able to correct and judge others that you can't bear the idea of extenuating circumstances and you're setting yourselves up for some massive falls. The most superior toddler parents have the worst behaved middle schoolers. Enjoy that. [/quote]

Don't really understand what you are trying to say here, but if your original goal in posting was to communicate more tolerance for your autistic child when in public and exhibiting bad behaviors, you failed badly.  It is you who sounds extremely intolerant and entitled and everyone can feel that when reading your posts.  You fail.[/quote]

She's right to be intolerant. You don't get it. She's defending her child and that makes you mad, because you don't want to have to be exposed to disabilities that make you uncomfortable. You want her and her child to have to earn the right to be in public, either through perfect behavior or through a constant acknowledgment that they are lesser-than, basically a walking apology for living.

I'll say one thing - the one piece of advice OP got here that she probably WOULD be best to internalize is to stop caring what other people think. Because the world is a crappy place to people who are inconveniently different. [/quote]

[b]Why does OP have the right to defend her child, but no one else does? [/b]

Again read the whole thread before you  jump up on your soapbox .[/quote]

This.  Thank you.  [/quote]

At no point did I ever suggest you should not defend your child. But I don't think you or your child need defending from odd or strange or different behaviors/noises from small children with disabilities unless someone is being hurt. As for being inconvenienced, or needing to explain to your child why some kids might act funny - that is actually an opportunity for you to teach some tolerance. [/quote]

But if we have no idea of a disability, we can't do this. So, disclose. People will be a lot more tolerant. Otherwise we just think you have an ill mannered 5 yo and I don't want my kids to think that is ok. [/quote]

Trust me, your children are going to encounter thousands of kids who you would most definitively consider ill-mannered when they hit K. For example, I wish the NT kids with older siblings hadn't taught my kid about poo poo nuts, but there you go. You can't police the world, and every person with a difference or a disability that causes things that you deem ill-mannered is not going to be able to issue you an apology. [/quote]

My kids are older and have never encountered a kid who spit on them. [/quote]

Many kids were bitten in daycare. Should it happen? Of course not.  My kids have been exposed to words and games and toys and snacks I deem undesirable and sometimes unacceptable. The idea that my child blowing raspberries is the worst thing your kiddos have been exposed to this far in life is preposterous and by no way universal.

That's part of sending them to school. [/quote]

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