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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I'm not saying the wife has to love and cherish the OW's kid but personally if I saw an infant in need or being harmed I would step in. I care about infants being placed in shitty situations because they are infants. I would not teach my kids that it's ok to abandon your kids. I would not teach my kids that it's ok to walk away from someone innocent who needs you. I want my kids to become good people. Good people do the right thing even when it's hard so I'll model that. You keep framing this as 'above her own kids.' I don't cherish the kids at St Jude more than my own kids but I can still give money to them. Being a good person doesn't have to come at the expense of one, and your husband damaged your kids when he cheated. All the kids are collateral damage. You get to teach them how to handle yourself with grace. Or that's what I would do, clearly not what you would do. [/quote] What do you mean, shitty situations? Women all over this town become "single mothers by choice" and people laud this as enlightened. No one says to them it's a shitty situation just because dad is not around. OF COURSE being a good person has to come at the expense of your kids and family here. Money is finite. Time is finite. [b]Everything going to the other child could have gone to your own. [/b] It's a perfect example of a zero sum game unless the child is fully integrated into the family. I am curious how that conversation with your kids would go. Daddy made a big mistake and got close to some other lady. And now you have a half-brother across town. He doesn't live with us though and never will. His mom is not a very nice person. So Daddy will have to be away a few times a week now. Really?[/quote] I'd scratch the line about trashing the other mom. Kids don't need to be in the middle of that. Other than that it would depend on the ages of the kids but pretty close. A woman who becomes a single mom by choice is a different situation. If my husband fathered a kid he fathered a kid. I wouldn't marry someone who abandoned a kid and I wouldn't stay married to someone who abandoned a kid. My morals don't change based on how much something effects me. As for the boldest. Jeez lady I'm not in competition with other kids, and neither are my kids. I'm certainly not going to spend the rest of my life score keeping so I can ensure my future as a bitter harpy. If this happened my kids would still be loved, still be cared for, and no matter how much I hated their father I would be committed to Coparenting with him in a kind and cooperative way. Because that's what's best for them[/quote]
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