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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Stopping caring saved my marriage"
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[quote=Anonymous]This sounds a lot like therapist Haariet Lerner in the Dance of Anger;0: a Woman's guide to changing the patterns of intimate relationships. I couldn't put the book down. In this book, Lerner treats anger as a signal that something is going wrong. She explains that only when we address the "something wrong" in a useful way will the anger go away. Then she explores the "dances" we engage in, in our attempts to make our partner care and listen. She suggests that most of our attempts when angry focus on the person(s) we think made us mad, rather than on ourselves. She compassionately and wisely shows how to disengage from the anger and the counter-productive patterns, while staying connected and acting with integrity. However, she also acknowledges the effect that this sort of change can have on other people in the dance, and she provides guidance in maintaining oneself in the face of countermoves. Fundamentally, it describes a different way to think about unproductive loops, and discussion of the ways in wich one can respond. It's a way of thinking, which can radically change the way one engages with the world.[/quote]
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