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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

For me, a clean house is a "real" thing. Wanting my husband to care about what I care about (such as a clean house) is a "real" thing. In return, I try to care about what he cares about (such as sex more frequently than perhaps I would choose on my own). Thank god my husband understands and tries. I can't get on board with this whole message. I think it's a really bad idea. It's basically for people who are a step or two away from divorce anyway. I don't think people with really strong, good marriages try to detach from their spouses and their spouses needs and wants.[/quote]

I can't make anyone care about the things that are important to me, nobody can.  The point of this thread is that it's not important to me that my husband cares about the things that I care about.  I am a whole person without his validation.  And when I was able to see that clearly then the arguing stopped, my life became clearer and we began to enjoy each other more.  My marriage is hardly a step or two from divorce, quite the contrary.  I have more contentment now then I have ever had, because I began to see that the person responsible for my happiness is 100% me.  I am happy when we see eye to eye on values and priorities but I am not disappointed when we don't.  He and I are. It clones, he doesn't have to care about the things that I care about.  I value our differences and don't expect him to make me whole.[/quote]

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