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[quote=Anonymous]How do you actually decide to not care?  For example, I abhor clutter and mess, and my husband doesn't care at all.  I spend a lot of time picking up after him (e.g., he won't throw away empty bottles, dirty socks are strewn about, random paper like receipts are just hanging out on countertops). I don't think he has ever cleaned the bathroom, or mopped any surface of our house.  And he is the one making messes - I clean up as soon as I make a mess.  I spend so much time doing that that I am not able to make my own stuff the way I want, so I have a basket of clean, unfolded clothes of mine sitting in my bedroom that I wish were put away, but I am really tired and spend my time dealing with his mess.  He likely will never pick up after himself.  I have tried not doing it and it just gets completely out of control.  It's like he doesn't see it, and it certainly doesn't bother him.  So how does someone get to the point of not caring?

By the way, my marriage has some pretty serious problems (infidelity, financial disagreements, etc.), so I might be more focused on smaller issues just because I am generally upset.  But I would like to not care about the smaller stuff.[/quote]

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