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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have never spanked my three, now teenaged, children, and none of them has ever caused my husband and I any disciplinary problems at home or school.  My Southern, rural, high-school educated parents, never spanked me, or any or my siblings.  We were well-haved children.  [b]My parents have told me as an adult that they made a conscious decision not to spank us since  they harbored hard feelings for what they still believed to have been unfair and unwarranted spankings they suffered from their own parents.  In particular, they felt their parent soften  spanked them out of frustration, anger, or for things they didn't actually do. [/b] [/quote]

I have decided never to spank my child -- now 3 -- for reasons similar to this PP's parents' experience, and bolstered by the research I've read about spanking. My parents believed that spanking, or threats of spanking, were the appropriate response to ANY infraction. If they told me to do something, and I didn't immediately respond, they would threaten to [b]'get the belt.'[/b] If I was too sassy as an older child, they spanked me. I have distinct memories of my mom screaming and [b]chasing me while swinging the belt when I was a tween,[/b] over something I did wrong at school. I was afraid of them, and I don't want my daughter to fear me. They think there should be that type of fear dynamic in the parent-child relationship, because they believe in authoritarian style parenting. They think that my 3 year old is destined for juvenile delinquency because we don't spank.  I vehemently disagree. But I don't waste my breath arguing with them about it,  because this isn't a disagreement that can be resolved by logic and reasoning. It's almost like debating religion. 
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because that wasn't spanking. That was abuse.  I was abused, too, slapped in the face, pulled up by my hair.  I can tell the difference between abuse and a swat on the rump.  Using a switch/belt is against the law. Using an open hand on the bottom is not.[/quote]

No, I don't think they crossed the line into abuse, but there were a couple of incidents that were close. They simply believed that using a belt was the way to spank (grandparents believed in the 'get a switch from the tree' approach). They could have hurt me just as much with their hands. Never left physical marks, and they believed slapping, pulling hair, using paddles or electric cords would be going too far, so in their mind there were limits.  But I'm not going to waste any more keystrokes on this because, like I said, it's like a Christian debating the existence of god with an atheist. ..[/quote]
Using a belt is considered abuse.  Doesn't matter if it didn't leave a mark.  That's what the law states.[/quote]\

That's not the law in the state where my parents live. It's more subjective than that. I seriously doubt that any judge in that time period would have decided that their actions were abusive. [/quote]

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