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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have never spanked my three, now teenaged, children, and none of them has ever caused my husband and I any disciplinary problems at home or school.  My Southern, rural, high-school educated parents, never spanked me, or any or my siblings.  We were well-haved children.  [b]My parents have told me as an adult that they made a conscious decision not to spank us since  they harbored hard feelings for what they still believed to have been unfair and unwarranted spankings they suffered from their own parents.  In particular, they felt their parent soften  spanked them out of frustration, anger, or for things they didn't actually do. [/b] [/quote]

I have decided never to spank my child -- now 3 -- for reasons similar to this PP's parents' experience, and bolstered by the research I've read about spanking. My parents believed that spanking, or threats of spanking, were the appropriate response to ANY infraction. If they told me to do something, and I didn't immediately respond, they would threaten to 'get the belt.' If I was too sassy as an older child, they spanked me. I have distinct memories of my mom screaming and chasing me while swinging the belt when I was a tween, over something I did wrong at school. I was afraid of them, and I don't want my daughter to fear me. They think there should be that type of fear dynamic in the parent-child relationship, because they believe in authoritarian style parenting. They think that my 3 year old is destined for juvenile delinquency because we don't spank.  I vehemently disagree. But I don't waste my breath arguing with them about it,  because this isn't a disagreement that can be resolved by logic and reasoning. It's almost like debating religion. 
[/quote]

So if you don't advocate authoritarian parenting, what do you advocate? Is there a democratic process in place in your household for discipline?[/quote]

Have you even done the minimal research into parenting?  An *authoritative* parenting style produces the most well-adjusted kids.  That is, you set firm limits, but not through the use of coercive discipline.  It takes more work than just yelling and spanking.  [/quote]

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