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[quote=Anonymous]

[quote]Anonymous wrote:

Why would you not take more leave from your job to cover kid things (doctor, dentist, field trips, etc.) if your wife also worked? I assume she handles 100% because she's AH.

Forgive me for not kneeling at the "must have a SAHP from 0-5" altar. Dual WOHPs can provide a foundation just as important and stable as a SAHP/WOHP family.

I do take leave some times for various child-related things, but I suppose you are right that it is not as much as my wife. It seems crazy though to think that little kids would prefer a more "even" split of times like that if it means having both parents gone almost all the time.

And I'm not expecting you to kneel at any altar. I was just expressing my opinion that one model is superior to another. You disagree. That's fine. Most of the debate came in response to allegations about racism or elitism, and I think that is just defensiveness. [/quote]

You are really a closed minded asshole, aren't you.  You started your little soapbox lecture telling everyone you just wanted to sing the praises of your SAH wife.  But really you just wanted to make digs and take stabs at working parents.  And your ignorance is clearly coming through in your inability to see something from a different perspective.  Let me school you on a couple things:

1.  someone having a different opinion than yours (and maybe some proof to back it up) is not called being defensive.  it's called having a discussion or argument (I'm going to assume here that your SAH wife is very submissive and wouldn't dare have a differing opinion based on the way you respond to everyone on here who disagrees with you.

2.  making generalizations like "both parents gone almost all the time;" "nannies are not educated or thoughtful;" "one SAH parent will always provide superior childcare than [basically anything else]"  makes you sound uneducated, ignorant, stubborn and closed minded and takes away from the value of anything else you have to say.  In other words (I feel I have to explain this to you since you're a bit...closed minded and unwilling to learn or grow from outside information) when all your arguments are swimming in extremes and generalities and your response to everyone is "you're defensive because I'm right," it makes people not believe the rest of your arguments whether or not they are valid.

3.  when 2 parents work, they can generally coordinate their schedules so that their child or children aren't "always gone" but rather spend less time away ( mom spends morning with child/ goes in late/drops kid off late; dad goes in early/picks up child early) Such a schedule will give the child quality time with BOTH parents.

4.  Kids with absentee dads generally have a tougher time growing up.  Not always and this is different than single parents.  Studies indicate that dads that are in the family but absentee cause some trauma to some kids.

5.  KIDS ARE DIFFERENT!!! PARENTS ARE DIFFERENT!!!!   There are kids that need and crave and develop much better in a social environment for most of the day.  There are kids that need and crave and develop much better at home with a parent.  There are parents that have a calm and serene and wonderful family when they are intellectually stimulated with work.  There are parents that are more calm and serene and wonderful family when a parent is home to manage the household and family.  One way is NO BETTER than the other.

6.  some parents would love to stay home but can't.  You're an ASSHOLE for telling them their childrearing is subpar.  Some parents would love to get into the workforce and can't.  You making your stupid generalizations don't help them.  And some parents are doing what they want because they can.  You do not know that your situation is superior to any of those situations and you just saying that is useless banter.

Have I cleared that up for you?  
 [/quote]

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