Reply to DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, but having sex with random guys in college is nothing to be proud of. My oldest daughter doesn't drink. When she went away to school, she didn't form close association with boys/girls who partied and drank a lot. I think it's perfectly normal to not want to form close attachment to people if your values are out of sync.

Why would I want my 15 year old daughter in a close friendship with girls who constantly talk about sex? She's said that, once they lost their virginity, that's all they talked about and it got old. Again, I'm comfortable with her choice to distance herself from these sort of friends. [/quote]

Well, the previous conversation wasn't about college women having sex with random guys.  You (or the PP) said the 19 year old daughter was VERY judgmental of sexually active women.  A bit of a difference.  There also is a difference between a couple dating exclusively and being sexually active and "boy crazy" girls who brag about having sex with multiple guys.  I'd focus on the specific behaviors, how unprotected sex and multiple partners raise the risk of STDs and pregnancy.  I also wouldn't encourage a friendship between my 14 year old daughter and girls who constantly talk about sex.  Trust me- they are in our school as well.  But that's not how you (or the PP) phrased it earlier.  Your daughters (or the PP's) are "VERY judgmental of girls who have sex".  Not simply "distancing themselves" or "forming close attachments to people with values in synch".

Your daughter's values are at the far end of the bell curve- and that's fine.  But you're encouraging (or at a minimum not discouraging) them to be VERY judgmental of people who have different values.  Its one thing to hang out with people with similar interests and another one entirely to walk around with a holier-than-thou attitude, looking down on all the slutty alcoholics of the world.

If you can't understand that subtle difference, it explains a lot about you and your daughters' shitty outlook on people who make different choices.  [/quote]

You're dense. I don't have to include every single teeny tiny detail when I post. I neither discourage or encourage the behavior. But if my (15 y/o) chooses not to associate with friends who now only want to talk about boys/sex, I'm fine with it...period.

If choosing not to give away her virginity to any guy who shows her an interest in high school equals being at the far end of the bell curve, it's DEFINITELY fine with me.

Not sure where you're getting that they slut-shame or [b]look down their noses at the girls/guys. [/b]They don't. They just don't associate with them. There's a difference. It's great that everyone is allowed to make their own choices. It's also okay if my children choose not to associate with people who make choices that they aren't comfortable being around (ex: pot smokers, underage drinking, sex, etc). YMMW, of course. [/quote]

Your original post about your JUDGMENTAL daughters who stop talking to people when they find out they are sexually active:

"While I don't like it, they are VERY judgmental of girls who have sex. My 15 year old has stopped talking to friends when she finds out they are sexually active"[/quote]

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