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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not OP, and DD isn't at UM, but I've been following
Because my kid was also rushing g this week.

Reporting back that she got a bid and she's happy! Not the top house, but a solid mid tier, better than she thought she'd get if you'd asked her four days ago.

I asked her, would you rather not be in. Sorority or would you rather be in this one? And the answer was in a sorority. Sometimes, you just want to be included.

[b]All the ranking stuff becomes irrelevant over time. Just find people you like! [/b][/quote]

The entire process is so strange.  Why not "just find people you like" on your own, without other entities telling you if you are "good enough for them" or not?  [/quote]

Less selective sororities are the best!

I'm serious! For those who didn't do the whole sorority thing in college, I get that it seems strange. Like you're "paying for friends" or being fake to impress people who are standing in judgment of you. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Here's the upside: Once you accept a bid to ANY sorority, you suddenly have tons of regular opportunities to meet and get to know 150 additional women - without having to do the hard work of "putting yourself out there" again and again on your own, trying to strike up a conversation with strangers to see if you click. With a sorority, it's all right there - incredibly easy to meet a whole bunch of new people and keep spending time with the ones you like.

Will you like all of them? No, probably not. There will be at least a few who rub you the wrong way. But that's ok. In an organization of that size, you'll have tons of other people to hang out with, and it's it's easy to steer yourself towards them instead of those you don't click with.

Plus, NOTHING about pledging a sorority requires you to stop hanging out with your previous friends from your dorm, classes, other activities etc. It's additive, not exclusive.

And, going back to the start of my post - YES, there really is a distinction between the "top sororities" (according to the status seekers on campus) and the "less selective" or "bottom tier" sororities that may not cut as many rushees along the way.

Here's the distinction: It's not that there's something wrong with the women in the less selective / lower tier sororities or houses. It's that, by definition, they're far less likely to be the judgy, status-seeking, "you're not good enough for us" types. Why not? Because their (unspoken) ranking and the selection process itself prevents that.

The superficial, status-seeking girls self-sort themselves elsewhere. They go after bids from different houses, and if they get cut along the way, they tend to drop out of rush rather than take a bid from a "lower tier" sorority. That leaves less status-chasing girls who are considering sororities for other reasons - not just following the status train. (Also, even the less selective sororities cut rushees who are condescending or rude to them, or just so blatently superficial or status-seeking that they make the sisters uncomfortable. So that helps, too.)

If you pledge, you're introduced to a large group of women to get to know. Not all at once - but over time. Plus the older girls organize a ton of events (some structured, some unstructured) to make it all easier for you. Again, not forced friendship!! Just lots of opportunities for everyone to keep meeting new people. If you show up, it's almost certain you'll meet a bunch of new people you like, but whom you would not have met otherwise, out of the group of 150-200.

Again, I'm not suggesting this is what everyone wants from their college experience. But I'm certain it doesn't have to be an exercise in being fake or dealing with people telling you you're not good enough. Sororities can be quite different from each other, even on the same campus. If you're interested, keep an open mind and find the people you like or want to get to know better. [/quote]

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