Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a 45 year old woman and I dated someone 15 years older when I was in my 20s.  At the time, I thought he was amazing.  With time, I have come to realize how terrible immature and emotionally stunted he was.  While this may not be something you can connect with now, I will also say that I have friends with husbands in their 50s and 60s, and some seemed to age very quickly in a very short amount of time.  This means you could end up married to and caring for an old man who doesn't have the energy, drive, or desire to engage with life that you will have.  Yes, you will get older too, but there is a lot to be said about acknowledging values and weaknesses (and strengths) of different phases of live, and recognizing that you and he will change considerably as you move through some of these.

If I were your aunt or friend, I would advise you to break this off, though I know how difficult that can be at your age.  Could you consider seeing other people for a time as well?[/quote]

All of this. Very well said.

Is he in excellent shape for 45? what about his financial status? He doesn't have to be mega-wealthy, but at 45 his earning power is likely peaking. He doesn't have 20 more years to advance. I don't say that be money-grubbing, but to be very practical and clear eyed.[/quote]

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