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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Absolutely obsessed with these people who assume the woman resentful of the mental load must be a SAHM or has some sort of “for fun” job. I know moms in hetero marriages who are the default parent and household manager and make double what the husband makes. [/quote]

Statistically these cases are rare as you are well aware. [/quote]

Maybe making double is rare. Women working full-time with kids along with their husbands is not. In fact, in 45% of marriages, the wife earns the same or more.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/
[/quote]

I make almost 3 times what my husband does, and I know a number of other women in a similar position. We are all the default parents and carry the majority of the mental load.[/quote]

So stop. [/quote]

And neglect the children? Yeah, great solution. [/quote]

I stopped cooking and my husband looked like a deer in the headlights at first but then he started scrambling. First he ordered take out, then bought prepared meals at Whole Foods, and now he’s getting the meal boxes with ingredients that he cooks. No, my kids weren’t neglected. And, it turns out, he could and would cook if I stopped cooking. I did the same thing with Summer camps: told him in December that I was no longer in charge of securing Summer camps, let him know if he didn’t have a plan for the kids by early January, we’d be screwed. Lo and be hold he got it done and is now on Year 3 of being Summer camp organizer. I no longer think about it…well except for now while writing this. Some things will go awry, it will be ugly sometimes but it’s worth it. [/quote]

PPs aren’t suggesting shifting the load to their husbands. They’re suggesting abandoning key work—like finding summer camps—altogether, insisting it isn’t actually necessary and that these women’s stressors are all in their heads. [/quote]

Summer camp isn't key work. It's not that the problem is all in your head, it's that the problem is your attachment to unnecessary things.[/quote]

Are you offering to provide childcare for me each summer? I didn't think so. [/quote]

STAHHHHP. Planning your cobbled care for the summer is a minor task, as is hitting refresh a hundred times in one week in January and making sure your registrations get done. I've done this, so don't swing at me like I don't know exactly what sort of labor this is. It's a minor once-a-year task that gets easier as your kid ages. Stop acting like you do this every damned day because you obviously don't. [b]If your kid needs care, this is literally your job.[/b] Do it and STFU about it.[/quote]

Why isn't it BOTH parents' jobs?[/quote]

Why do you need two adults to register a kid for summer activities? It's not that big a deal! Y'all act like you want medal for hitting refresh a few times and spending money online. If you need to put your kid in care to go to work, this is your responsibility. If your spouse also needs this care to work, it could just as easily be their responsibility. it's a minor responsibility, but if you need to have a discussion to delegate, go ahead. Personally, I would just do the damned thing and be done with it because it's really not a big thing to do.

Want a cookie?[/quote]

Take Summer camp and multiply it by thousands of tasks a year and then multiply it by 18 years. The fact that you can’t see that tells me you are either math deficient, superwoman, or purposely being obtuse to make other womem feel like crap. Here’s your cookie.[/quote]

DP. My youngest kid is in HS and I am the breadwinner. It’s just not the big deal you make it out to be. I’ve gotten jabs on this board before for saying it but we often don’t acknowledge that some women have terrible executive function and inability to prioritize. [b]I can hardly believe someone who would rather waste her time on the internet to tell us she is overloaded from her basic life functions than attend to them.[/b] [/quote]

Yep. It's like some people want to be unhappy and whine to strangers about it. [/quote]

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