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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Act 1
A happy family, one husband, one wife and three lovely children. Child A has a holiday performance on Thursday morning and needs to wear a “green Christmas sweater, blue jeans and white sneakers” per teacher instructions. Child 2 has Christmas caroling at the old people’s home on Friday and needs a red dress and plate of cookies. Child 3 is receiving an award for a speech on Friday also, and will be needing a birthday present for friend’s party that same afternoon. Wife takes care of all of these things noiselessly, on top of regular work. She also lets husband know where to be on performance and award day.
Act 2
Husband: shows up.
Act 3
Society: why do women complain about mental labor? It’s a fiction that only exists in their hysterical imaginations and they invent tasks to do because they are hysterical.

Curtain. [/quote]

All of these things being … picking out some clothing, getting some cookies and a birthday present? That … sounds … exhausting? Is that what my takeaway is here?

At any point was there some discussion in the family? “Larla, find a green shirt. Marla, get your read dress. Darla, pick out a present on Amazon. Honey, can you pick up some snickerdoodles on the way home?”[/quote]

I don’t think you actually have elementary schoolers.  Or that you are responsible for them anyway.  
The only thing most elementary schoolers could do on the OP’s list without any help is make the cookies.  And that’s the only thing you outsourced.

[/quote]

[b]Maybe your elementary schoolers are a little slow? Mine know their colors. If I asked my daughter to get her green shirt, she would do so. If I remind my 4th grader to get her red dress, she'd go get it.[/b]

You're missing the point entirely. The husband isn't the issue here. The OP's inability to communicate and play the martyr is. [/quote]

Are you really this dumb or are you being purposefully obtuse? The point is that not everyone already has a green shirt or a red dress. Neither of my daughters has either of those things - they aren't colors they like to wear. So yeah, my kids can pick out the green shirt from the closet if it's there, but they can't drive themselves to the mall to purchase one if it's not. [/quote]

Why is a red dress necessary for caroling?

How would wearing an existing article of clothing prevent the caroling?

And does this child even want to sing to old people?

[/quote]

You're using strawmen here.[/quote]

No it's actually a valid follow-up question to your response:

"The point is that not everyone already has a green shirt or a red dress. "

Why is a red dress required for old people home caroling? If procuring red dresses is a burden, why is the caroling venue that requires dress procurement an oblation? I've does caroling without specific outfit and cookie requirements. The children were not deprived of medical care, as a previous poster insinuated.

[/quote]

Are you the same poster that’s getting divorced and doesn’t care that your kids hate your new home? It seems as though you have reading comprehension and argumentative issues. That’s great that YOU have done caroling without a red dress, but that’s fully irrelevant here. OPs kid was signed up for an activity with a basic requirement that should be fulfilled; if you think it’s dumb, the kid should never have been signed up. As a parent of a kid with social anxiety, I would not intentionally set them up to be in the wrong outfit.

PP made the point that the person that takes on the mental load of all of the drudgery of every day life is also the person that takes on any health concerns. The parent that doesn’t know where their kids performance is or what they’re supposed to wear or bring and just shows up (after repeatedly asking the other parent of time and place) is not going to concern themselves with being the point person on researching health providers and ensuring they find the right fit. The non-default parent is going to expect that the default parent figures out how to get a diagnosis and what could possibly be wrong, how to find treatment and a provider, and how insurance reimbursement works. The only thing the non default parent will do is take a child to appointments occasionally, when told when and where and if anything needs to be brought. [/quote]

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