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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m having a hard time trying to navigate this situation. I have a group of friends who I talk to pretty often, daily for the most part. We got together for an end of year party at someone’s house the last day. It was about 8 kids and their families. Another mom found out ahead of time and instead of just asking to be included got extremely upset, angrily confronting almost every mom going and demanding to know why her child wasn’t included. Host said sorry just ask next time of course he can go. So now moving forward, I always try to be aware and I’ll text her saying “oh we are going to meet at Jill’s house to Trick or Treat” or “we are going to the park and grabbing ice cream to celebrate school starting” I’ve done this maybe 5 times and she’s always super non committal, doesn’t even say thanks for invite or anything, just very aloof. She can’t seem less interested. You can go and join the kid’s gym class on Fridays. It’s an open thing advertised in the newsletter weekly. I messaged a few moms and said I was going and 4 of us went. I did not reach out to her but we don’t talk at all aside from me sending our invites to things, she might text me once every 6 months with a question and we don’t hang out at all, my kids have never done a playdate with hers. Her child told her and now she’s furious and giving everyone the silent treatment who went and told 2 people she’s angry. What would you make of the situation? [/quote]

I wanted to respond directly to your comment before reading the other MANY comments, but I might respond to those in a few minutes as well.  This mother is clearly emotionally very immature and maybe struggles with perceived rejection.  It is really inappropriate for her to be putting her insecurities on her child; she's not only harming possible friendships for herself, but harming her daughter, who is going to struggle socially and emotionally.

I try to send a group text to the parents of my child's friends whenever I think of a group activity, even something super casual.  Here are some examples of casual meet-ups for the park, sledding, ect.  "Hi everyone! We are headed to x park to go roller skating this afternoon if anyone wants to join us! :)" "Hi everyone! I'm off with the kids today and we are thinking about heading over to x park to go sledding and may walk over to x place for lunch after if anyone wants to join us! I'm happy to pick up a kiddo if needed".

Sometimes parents don't respond, other times parents respond but they can't make it, and sometimes it works out and we have an amazing time.  If I notice that a parent has simply not been responding at all to any of the messages, I definitely check in with my child to see how things are going with that friend (just a casual check-in about if they are having fun, ect.).  I will sometimes respond to my child by saying, "I didn't hear back from x's mom/dad, they must be busy! That happens sometimes".

Option 1-If you value the connection with this other parent or just want to make sure the ball in their court and you've said your peace, then you could send a message to other parent and say something that acknowledges "miscommunication" and that you desire to clear the air.  You could highlight that you've done your best to send group invites but since you hadn't heard back and she hasn't come to anything in x times, you thought they weren't interested.

option 2- Another option is to not engage at all with this parent.  You should definitely encourage your daughter to still be kind and include this other child during play at school, ect. and make sure your daughter knows that you'd be happy to meet-up for a playdate and to just have your daughter tell the other child to have her mom reach out if she wants to meet up....that puts it still in her court.

Regardless of what you do with this other parent, I would 100% reach out your daughter's school counselor (assuming all of the kids are at school together).  The school counselor can process some of this with each child as needed and/or it could highlight the need for some different SEL interventions or support for that other child's family.  There could be other things going on that is impacting her behavior (likely is).  [/quote]

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