Reply to SIL plotted to inherit estates from childless aunts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, ah, how often do you visit these childless aunts, OP? I'm thinking pretty much never?[/quote]

+1[/quote]

The money belongs to your aunts to do with as they wish - whether that’s to spend every red cent, give it away to charity, light it on fire to roast marshmallows (although destroying currency might be illegal?), or even leave to your SIL.  Even if you were their (only) child, they would not be obligated to leave it to you.  As you are not their child, you should have no expectations of inheritance.   Anything they leave you is a bonus.

It would be a different matter if they weren’t independent and mentally competent.  If they were dependent on her for care and she was isolating them from the rest of the family, I’d share your outrage, but you give no evidence of mistreatment.  To the contrary, your post seems to imply that since your primary concern is their money, that any concern from your SIL must be feigned.  With that attitude, it is unsurprising that your aunts chose to leave their money elsewhere.  On the other hand, if you actually care about them as individuals, just be happy that they felt close enough to your SIL to want to leave her money.

In the meantime, their finances are none of your business.  The divorced uncle and other family member were out of line to tell you anything about their will.  If they had felt it was any of your business, they would have told you themselves.  Ironically, I would think that someone who works with attorneys all the time would appreciate the importance of confidentiality.[/quote]

That’s false, you’re projecting. The primary issue seems to be loss of trust in what happened, how it happened and in her brother & SIL.

Everyone was far away and seeing each other over the adult years.

The loss of trust is driven by: “‘ The lack of communication, transparency and omissions. ‘“[/quote]

Agree, it’s family meeting time OP. 
You and your brother, go in to set a plan for the elders in a nice open way, see what you learn, set the plan, and the group proposes it to the elders.

Are there nieces and nephews who are decently close and responsible on the other side? Include them too. [/quote]

NO, NO, NO.  It is none of OP’s business.  I would be livid to know a meeting went on about MY money.  [/quote]

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