Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Are we just passionate people, two "high drives" lucky enough to find each other?  I'm sure our temperaments are part of it.  But what is much more important, what is MOST important, is that we know what sex means:  its purpose, its message, its profundity.
If you don't know what sex is all about, you're going to miss the mark, sometimes badly.  You wouldn't put sand in your gas tank, and similarly disastrous consequences follow from misunderstanding how sex works and why it is designed the way it is.
What does sex mean to you, OP?  What is its purpose?  Apologies in advance if you've already shared this, but I need to know where you are coming from to try to help you get where you want to go.[/quote]

Sex is feeling that I still have a place in this marriage besides the 2 kids.  Sex is a release and I'm horny. Sex is me pleasing DW and watching her lose herself.  Sex is connecting DW and I since there is no us time anymore with 2 kids.  Sex (happening) means that I did not just suffer yet another rejection again. [/quote]

Hi, OP.  Me again.  Can you explain something to me?  Why do men feel personally rejected when we don't want sex?  I can't speak for your wife, but in my case there is NO ONE that I would go for when I don't want it.  Like, George Clooney could be naked in my bedroom and I'd be all "George, go the fuck home."  For me, I had the hardest time convincing DH that it's not that I don't want sex with YOU, it's that I just don't want sex right now, period.  It seems like you guys really internalize this as a self esteem thing.  Maybe HD women feel the same way, IDK.  [/quote]

HD woman here. I feel rejected because I know DH would turn off the TV for a woman he hadn't been having sex with for the past 20 years. He makes it all about me when he doesn't want to make the effort to have sex.  [b]I don't need dates or romance or compliments, even. Just sex[/b].[/quote]  Me too![/quote]

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