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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is all just another version of blame and revenge on the other woman, instead of placing blame and work where it should be placed - on *your* cheating spouse, and focusing on *your* relationship. [/quote]

I blamed my cheating spouse. I felt morally obligated to inform the other betrayed spouse so they were no longer victim to the lies and potential health risks.

Being cheated on felt like someone was holding me underwater. When I finally figured out the truth, I couldn't bear to sit by and watch another person being treated the same way.[/quote]

So you pulled them under water and held their head down with you? How did that help you? You felt better lashing out and making sure someone else felt as miserable as you did? More power to you I guess.

It’s so ironic that the women of DCUM become such excellent communicators in this situation, but can’t lay down boundaries about Thanksgiving with their own families year after year. [/quote]

Not at all. I felt like I could finally breathe again and when I figured out the truth. I hated to see someone else being lied to the way I had been. [/quote]

I learned she had been cheating most of the affair, serially with married men and that her husband had no clue (but several of her friends knew and were alibis, fellow online cheaters) and that she planned to spring a divorce on him when their kids left for college.

I felt so bad for him not knowing the lie and I imagined him getting blindsided with a divorce filing out of the blue—-while this SAHM had been stashing $ and having him make decisions that would benefit her upon divorce.

I did think about him when I saw how cruel she was and how she talked trash about him.

He did file himself when he found out and personally thanked me.  And, yes, it was extremely painful- just like it was for me.  But, we both were so glad to know the truth about our lives, guard our health, etc. [/quote]

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