Reply to Halloween dis-invitation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parents can’t win. If we offer up some pizza, we are socially engineering our kids. If we let them roam, we aren’t involved enough.[/quote]

Offering some pizza and hosting is perfectly fine, just let your kid decide who to invite and stick with who they invited. It should be a day for the kids IMO - not for the parents. [/quote]

This is a tween/teen forum. Teenagers make their own friends. [b]Parents are not involved. [/b]Do the parents of left out kids think parents are somehow the ones trying to leave out their kid???

There are so many groups. With girls, there definitely seems to be a pretty popular type group and if you are not pretty or have a charismatic personality, they may not want you around. Same for the nerdy band kid. There are kids who play football and basketball and then the kids who are in marching band. Very different crowds. [/quote]

Why?  The kids are not orphans.

Yes. I think that the parents get their jollies when their children ditch other kids. [/quote]

These parents act like they have to walk on egg shells around their fragile kids whose social lives can not be known, questioned, or commented on. Like they have strangers living in their homes who do as they please when they are actually dependent minors they are fully responsible for.[/quote]

Wut? Which orifice did you pull that out of?  :lol: 
[/quote]

Oh, found the parent too scared to talk to their own kid. [/quote]

Do you really go around making up these baseless, random narratives about people?

Weird. [/quote]

What? It’s so obvious. People do not want to talk to their kids. They don’t want to do the work. Lots of kids are being little a-holes and their parents have their heads in the sand. Do you often dump your friends last minute for better plans? Why is it ok for your kid to do that? You’re neglecting your job as a parent of a young teen. Do better.[/quote]

You have no idea what other parents are doing or not doing. Stop judging people based on your fictional version of them.

[/quote]

I have two teens. They mention who they are hanging out with. There are definitely some kids from elementary that seem to be on the periphery of the group and not normally in their core group for hang outs. Sometimes they have a new kid who is a friend of a friend. I don’t ask them when Bobby from elementary cub scouts or your friend from 4th grade was not invited for Halloween.[/quote]

So if they were going with bobby, and you know because you actually asked them the plan was in advance, but then suddenly said Bobby wasn’t going anymore it simply wouldn’t occur to you to ask why not? Like what happened with OPs kid?There are a lot of really uninvolved clueless parents out there apparently.[/quote]

Not PP but I don’t keep up with the kids on the periphery like this hypothetical Bobby is. I keep up with my teens’ main group of friends and yes, if suddenly I’m not hearing about that kid, I ask and try to figure out if there is an issue.[/quote]

So in OPs example, in a small group no parent had any idea her kid was invited then uninvited? None at all?[/quote]

How would I know?[/quote]

You assume everyone is as hands off and disengaged as you are. A lot of parents in here apparently are. You won’t care until it happens to your kid.[/quote]

I’m not making assumptions at all. I’m responding to questions here as per my own experience. My kids absolutely have been on the receiving end of these types of situations and had to navigate them, so stop making judgments here.[/quote]
It happens to the vast majority of kids at some point it’s part of learning to navigate social situations. I think some parents on here are trying to shield their kids from any social discomfort, and I think it may have the opposite effect in adulthood.[/quote]

Kids have to manage discomfort and also kids need to learn manners and social norms. Those should be taught at home they aren’t intuitive.[/quote]

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