Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No. That woman didn't make vows to you.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

ITA! Why wouldn't you confront your dh? She isn't married, its your problem not hers...[/quote]

I did confront my dh. He insists they are "just friends" but they've crossed a line in talking about sex with each other. He says he has shown integrity - I figure this means bc they haven't had sex (yet). [/quote]

I texted my husband's co worker whom he was texting regularly sometimes with sexual content.I was civil enough to ask her what was going on between them.I used my husband's phone so she would answer.She denies everything.My husband was furious and said to fix myself first before fixing his texts.After that he  changed his tone and said  his co worker isjust aggressive or just want to kid  with each other.and they are professional,with college degrees.He said this because I told him she is a slut because she knows he is married  but still  does this.[b]He was defending her.[/b]Afetr  a few weeks  I saw texts between them 3 days in a row .she jokingly invited him for coffee and then said "your wife might get mad".im so hurt with all of this.i told him that he seems to be having fun  with the texts,but have been distant to me,and this makes me insecure.he locked his phone from then on.i told him this is an emotional affair. [b]He said that some people clicks better than others[/b].he told me i cannot blame anybody but me because I gained weight and not taking care of myself.Every minute for me is a struggle.[b]I feel so hurt.At times I push this out of my mind but it is hard.It is an emotional roller coaster[/b].I'm afraid I will get sick from high blood pressure from all of these.[b]He dismisses having couples therapy[/b].Its hard to leave because we have small kids.Thanks to the administrators and to all people in this forum for helping me vent my feelings and for guidance.

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I'm the OP.  The bolded text above is very similar to the stuff my DH also said.  The only thing he didn't say was that I'd gained weight.  He says he's attracted to my body.  Anyway, I called the OW a cunt, a word I use very sparingly.

It has also been a roller coaster for me.  I read the 180link below and it gave some prudent advice, just so that I don't get so obsessed about it until I can get my head and emotions straight.

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/rebuilding-marriage-after-infidelity/discussions/messages/12496184

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