Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The father is an adult, he made his choice.  One 2nd wife may have some issues, but you can't generalize it to all the 2nd wives.  Some are working hard and trying to have good relationships with husband's adult children.  Do the adult children make efforts to have better relationships?  [/quote]

The adult children don't want the relationship! You can't waltz in, take away a lot of their time with their father, and then tell them they aren't trying hard enough. You did this to them, you earn the relationship.[/quote]

The adult children don't want the relationship, that is fair.  Then how come the adult children want their dad's money?  You are still selfish when the adult children don't want the relationship.  Your father spent his time and money raising you.  He could have you adopted.[/quote]

Huh? I don't want the money, I actually am wealthier than my father is already. I want the relationship with my father, but I don't want the relationship with his new wife and her spoiled kids. I want the relationship I *could have had* with my father if he had chosen differently. But he didn't.

The way he treats me as an adult, by the way, is the way he's going to treat your children when they are adults-- if he lives that long. Think about what you want for your children.[/quote]

Majority of the adult children here worried about their inheritance.  For you, is it you are the one that dose not want a relationship with your father?  I think your father will be more than happy to have a good relationship with you.

Again, you are selfish if you are the one that does not want the relationship.  Your father raised you, and he has the rights to pursuer his happiness after you are an adult.[/quote]

No. they are talking about resources, and the 2nd wife doesn't want any going to adult children. that includes visiting, or buying grandchildren gift or golf trips... it's all her money and she doesn't want it going to his relationship with his adult children.... and yes, if he dies why would his money go to his 2nd wife?

Happiness is spending time with your adult children not being bogged down with 2nd wifes constant needs for money and help with the kids and H home for every.single.holiday.[/quote]

You are mistaken.  Go back to the long lists of things they listed, most of them are about money.  You are wealthier than your father so that is less an issue for you.[/quote]

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