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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband refuses to help with night feedings "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you can’t afford to outsource help from a night nurse, your dh will have to take one feeding so that you can get a good 4 hour stretch of sleep every night. It’s not really negotiable; you can’t function without it. He can choose which one suits his schedule the best, but he can’t abdicate all responsibility. You also need to alternate sleeping in on weekend mornings. People with newborns need to prioritize sleep or it doesn’t happen.[/quote] OP here. We can afford a night nurse but neither of us feel comfortable with a stranger in our home.[/quote] You’re ridiculous. You’re husband is working and you are not. You nap during the day. [/quote] People who say this are ridiculous. A baby may only nap for a 60-90 minute stretch. It’s not like you can just train yourself to instantly instantly go to sleep the second they nod off, so at best you get maybe 30-45 minutes of poor rest, while listening/on alert for them to wake up. It’s somewhat twisted that society has convinced people that it’s more important for the man sitting in front of a computer working an office job to be well rested than a woman recovering from a major medical procedure while simultaneously taking care of a newborn.[/quote] OP here. This is the issue I have. My son eats every 2 hours during the day - 10 feeds total a day. He naps in 1.5 hour increments. After I feed him and get him down to sleep, I have to pump to help with my low supply. Then he often wakes up to be held or needs to be put back to sleep. I can't easily fall asleep. When I'm up at night for feedings, it takes me at least 30 minutes to fall back asleep. [/quote] It's going to be hard but you can do it. I had a preemie that had to be fed every three hours. The feed would last around a half hour and then she had to be upright for a half hour because of reflux. Then I pumped. Then I slept maybe an hour. I did that on my own for about a month as my husband was deployed. I was staying with my parents and they took care of everything else. As others have said, this is a short period of time even if it is brutal. With the challenges you are facing I do think your husband should pitch in for the late night feeding or the early morning. I also think you should consider supplementing with formula if your supply isn't getting better. With my first I was SAH for her first year. I exclusively BF for awhile and pumped b/c of low supply. My supply never got much better - it was a losing battle and wasn't worth the stress. My pumping turned out to be all for naught (long story)[/quote] OP here. I make a decent amount of milk. [b]It's important to my husband and I that he gets breast milk for at least 3 months. [/b]I do supplement 1-2 feeds a day. [/quote] Well, you pick your battles. If your husband really cares about this then he needs to be part of the solution. Also, you can say what's important to you but if you can't make it work and you're going crazy, maybe readjust. [/quote]
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