Reply to Husband refuses to help with night feedings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband just returned to work from paternity leave and I'm on maternity leave. He WFH most days out of the week, with some days at the office. Our newborn wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat. We had a system in place where we would take shifts - I went to bed after bedtime feeding and husband took first feeding to give me 4-5 hour uninterrupted stretch of sleep. I then handled the 1-2 additional wakings and he got up with him for the morning feed so I can sleep in. I know the mornings we need to be adjusted now that he is back to work, but he has since decided that he can no longer wake up a night with working. I think he is being unreasonable, but he thinks I should handle all of the night feeds since I will be home and able to nap. It's been very hard on me the last week doing it by myself and my husband won't budge. This has caused tension between us this past week that blew up into a big fight this past weekend. I'm very mad at him. Help me. [/quote]

You on maternity leave. He is noongerno leave and is working.  This is why you have maternity leave [/quote]

When he was on paternity leave, he didn’t do 100% of the night wakings. Why are the rules different for women again?[/quote]

I think OP should be doing the wakings.  I think when he was on paternity leave they should have been splitting up the night feedings.  Unfortunately OP is breastfeeding which makes that more difficult.  [/quote]

Ok, so a dad on paternity leave should do 50% and a mom on maternity leave should do 100%. Got it. Very equal.

Again she’d be better off as a single mother. [/quote]

It's astonishing that this has to be explained to you, but apparently it does, so here goes:

They were both on leave at the same time, so they split the night wakings.

When he went back to work, she was still on leave, so it's reasonable for her to take on more of the burden.  The precise split is open for discussion, but it's silly and obtuse to characterize it the way you are.

When she goes back to work, they should re-evaluate.  [/quote]

DP.

She is taking on 100% of the sleep issues. This is the burden of a newborn. What else wreaks havoc in this phase?[/quote]

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