Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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Reply to "What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Children are programmed, biologically, to want connection and protection from parents and will believe it's there even when it is not, because believing in it is better for them. Many carry this on to adulthood and will not hear of any criticism against their sainted parents. The cognitive dissonance allows them to be functional and comfortable with other information and situations that are not true or right.

Therapists convincing adult children that their normal parents were bad is not a thing. Not gonna say it never happened! Everything has happened, but some things are exceptional and some things are not. 1) an adult child actually made his way to therapy 2) adult child begins to realize, his upbringing was perhaps not healthy ... 3) ignorant parents assume this growth in the adult child is the fault of an evil therapist intent on exposing their abuse and ruining the facade of their happy family. That's what really happens.[/quote]

This is very true. The parent and adult child should have adult conversations about these unhealthy issues. However the adult child can't throw a tantrum and say abusive things like "you ruined my life" like a little kid over and over.  At some stage, a person is responsible for their own happiness. I will go further and say we actually CHOOSE to be happy or miserable. [/quote]

What about when the parent acts like a petulant child and refuses to acknowledge her role in her child’s development? 
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