Reply to $80k In Debt Worth It for Ivy Undergrad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, if you can handle some classes (humanity) not others (stem), maybe Columbia is just too hard for you. Do you think of yourself[b] a smart, hard working girl mentally damaged by parents, or a stressed student of average intelligence somehow placed in an elite college?[/b] It seems your parents can’t help you much beyond pushing you in a good college. You’ll have to make a living by actually working with knowledge. I suggest you choose what makes you feel comfortable and confident, or it’s gonna be a lifetime struggle. [/quote]

OP here, I think I'm both. I am a relatively dull, hard working girl of ordinary intelligence (definitely not gifted or anything, except maybe in the language arts) who has been mentally damaged by my parents' incessant pushing which somehow landed me at an elite school. [/quote]

Please understand your parents didn't get you into this school. You got yourself there. They may have lit the fire that got you to do the things that got you in, but you are the one who did them. You are capable of graduating from Columbia if you want to. Look how far you've gotten already!

We have all had to adjust and regroup based on what it turns out we are actually good at - and how much effort we actually want to put in. I started off at BigLaw - after graduating from Columbia Law actually - and realized almost immediately I did not have the drive to do that job. So now I do something else, that's more in line with how much energy I am actually capable of and interested in putting into work. Lots of my classmates - and you want to talk about stressed out, highly driven people - have done the same. We're happier than if we'd kept doing the thing that was out of whack with what our bodies and brains actually want from us.

You need to get out of this mindset that your only reasonable path is doing medicine, finance, or law. There is a world out there, for you to explore. Give yourself the freedom to explore it - but you don't need to do that by telling yourself it's because you're not good enough. You ARE. Look how far you've gotten already! But this isn't for you. It's not for most people in the world.

I'd suggest, on top of what you're already doing, maybe watching a bunch of movies or reading a bunch of novels about kids who have bucked their parents' expectations, sometimes at great personal cost. It might help you to see even these fictionalized versions of what it is you are trying to do.[/quote]

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